Being weak at Tremadog

I meant to write this on Thursday evening but never got round to it. I had no plans for Thursday, weather looked alight though, clear and cold, so fancied going rock climbing somewhere. I was going to Join Rhys and Ifan in the slate quarry when an old friend of mine Jason gave me a bell and asked if I fancied going climbing. So we set off down to Tremadog, where it looked really nice, cold too.

We climbed 'One Step in the Clouds' (VS 4c) first, as I have always wanted to do it but never have. It was a great route.

Jason on the first pitch of 'One Step in the Clouds'

After that I cant say I climbed it, but I had a go at 'G String' (HVS 5b). What a complete piss take that was!! Never before have I failed on getting up a trad route on lead, never fallen off on lead, and only once before have I had to pull on gear, and that was on Valkerie at the Roaches where I took the E1 5b line by accident years ago. But on this 'G String', I made the difficult move left, thinking it was hard, but seeming as it was a HVS I expected a wonder hold after passing it. There wasn't one. And it just freaked me out a bit, like never before I don't know what was going on. So I placed a cam and grabbed it in desperation. Then made a move up and couldn't see where to go next. So I came back down and had to rest on the bomber cam. I was so angry with myself, so frustrated. I then moved up again, got some higher gear on and had to rest again! In the end I just couldn't for the life of me come to committing to these moves and I couldn't feel any good holds or even see any good ones coming up. So I had to lower off. Jason had a go too thinking I was being pathetic and couldn't do it either, which made me feel a little better about myself. So we re-climbed One Step from the left side and abbed down G String to strip the gear.

Jason on the second pitch of 'One Step' 

I have never been so hacked off with myself climbing before. I just had a total breakdown, I don't recall ever being so scared even on considerably harder graded routes with run outs. I was shaking like a leaf and got pumped really quickly. I don't know what was going on, but I didn't like it. I like to think that my cold hands didn't help, and there definitely was moisture running down the groove, but still I have done other HVS's in these conditions without issue.

I guess everyone has their bad days. I'm hoping when I next get on this route I will walk it. But at the moment I feel totally sandbagged. I cant see how its HVS. On abbing it I couldn't see many holds either. I'm baffled.